OH MY GOD I’M CRYING
OH MY GOD I’M CRYING
A delicately choreographed whatever the hell it is they’re doing.
GREATEST IMPROVISED LINE EVER
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
They can leap 36 feet
As in leap forward 36 feet
They don’t jump 36 feet into the fucking sky do you know how terrifying that would be the human race wouldn’t have survived because we’d have all had heart attacks while still in Africa
still one of my favorite posts on tumblr
Why don’t dogs get to see the world too?
This dog is literally smiling.
Oh my god
Smokey eyes are fun
i hate americans and their stupid fahrenheit temperatures
i only made this post in the hopes that someone would reblog it with the caption “don’t fahrenhate” and you’ve all disappointed me greatly
don’t be a celsiass
its too fahrenlate
*waves hands helplessly* kelvin
HERE FOR THIS
young.black.educated.confident. i don’t see a thug here. at all.
"I’m better at life than you."
And some people never go beyond that stage.
why does ‘liking someone’ have to be this big secret?
why doesn’t everyone in the world just make it really clear?
why can’t we make t-shirts with the names of who we crush on?
why don’t we throw pianos at people and yell HELLO YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE SIR
have you tried throwing a piano
reasons i dont want to go back to school
- being forced to be around dumb,horrible, and mean people for so long
- have to wear a bra
- forced social interaction
- gross teachers
- having to actually put on clothes that arent pajamas
- have to wake up early
- cant stay up too late
- no sleeping in class
- no eating in class
- less time for internet and friends
- did i mention that 80% of ppl here are giant assholes